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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016231">Old Ghosts, New Haunts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/treewhisker/pseuds/treewhisker'>treewhisker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Penumbra Podcast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>&lt;- from sarah and diamond, ...eventually, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, As it Goes On, F/F, Friendship, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, I’m bad at titles, Kinda, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychosis, and also summaries, contrary to title there are no actual ghosts, in which juno steel has some sad nb hours, pls try it, sincr some aren’t recurring themes it’s better to just out it in the AN, vespa and juno are BEST FRIENDS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:00:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016231</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/treewhisker/pseuds/treewhisker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The THEIA is a device that burrows into ones mind, taking control of their brain.<br/>When one is removed, it must then be assumed that lasting damage has to have at least grazed the individual. </p><p>Or, Juno Steel experiences some side effects from removing the THEIA. However, there are some who may understand what he’s going through.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aurinko Crime Family &amp; Juno Steel, Aurinko Crime Family &amp; Vespa (Penumbra Podcast), Buddy Aurinko/Vespa, Juno Steel &amp; Vespa (Penumbra Podcast), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, Rita &amp; Juno Steel, i guess? there’s no tag for it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Old Ghosts, New Haunts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello gang<br/>i’m really bad at summaries and titles please bear with me<br/>the discord helped beta read this and my thanks go to them<br/>CONTENT WARNINGS: child abuse (sarah), domestic abuse (diamond), a tad bit of unreality (hallucinations), breakdown (very last part, not essential for reading - skip after ‘like sarah?’)</p><p>i hope you enjoy reading, other details in end notes :3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In reality, Juno should have expected there would be side effects. Nothing that can root into your brain, control your body, and <em> talk to you </em> would be able to be removed without some sort of lasting damage. Plus, as Jet had told him, he would have some strange hallucinations, strange <em> dreams </em>. </p><p> </p><p>Juno just didn’t realize those would last beyond the THEIA’s extraction. </p><p> </p><p>Juno Steel woke up to a room that was supposed to be empty. Around him, the tools were laid neatly for the next visitor, clean and sterile as they were before they’d entered. His ‘eye’ lay beside him, smaller than what he’d expected but still unsettling in its power. That had been <em> in </em> him, trying to control his whole being, implanting thoughts into his head, coiling around his brain in a vice, claiming to be the <em> real </em> him, the <em> good </em> in him.</p><p> </p><p>Fat load of good that did for it now. Juno crushed it under his boot, the wires letting out a final jerk before laying still.</p><p> </p><p>“So you’re feeling dramatic today, huh?” A voice that <em> should not have been there </em>intoned from the back of the room. Juno’s head shot up, long dormant instincts rearing to life as he stepped back, bumping into the operating table and sending the tools scattering across the floor. He wanted to hide.</p><p> </p><p>Sarah Steel stared back at him, a sneer on her face. She leaned upon the wall, in the clothes he had last seen her in, seeming almost bored. Even with the recent revelation as to the reason she snapped, Juno had certainly not forgiven her, and the child within him shied away from her scrutiny. The rest of him just felt rage. His hand strayed towards his blaster, but he knew his aim would be off. It instead fell to his side, clenching and unclenching with his breaths. </p><p> </p><p>“Nothing to say to dear old ma, little monster?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re supposed to be <em> dead </em> . You died in prison. So what, exactly, are you doing here?” Juno’s hands shook, shook in the way that they <em> always </em> did when he confronted Sarah or Diamond, shook and shook and <em> shook </em>. His heart was rabbiting in his chest, and all he wanted to do was run. </p><p> </p><p>Sarah shook her head. “Always asking questions. Never once do you just <em> listen </em>! At least your brother—”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you <em> dare </em> bring Benten into this—” </p><p> </p><p>“Would actually hear me out, let me speak without interrupting me at every opportunity. Benzaiten behaved himself, unlike <em> you </em>.” </p><p> </p><p>Juno saw red, but closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in. In, out. In, out. His heartbeat calmed, although not entirely, as it never did when he was near <em> them </em>. His hands stilled, instead tapping a steady rhythm against his thigh to count his breathing. </p><p> </p><p>When he opened his eyes, she was gone. The rush of relief was almost staggering, allowing his body to calm itself. His instincts stopped swelling, stopped screaming <em> run run run get out </em>. The room almost seemed to reflect his emotion, with the faded walls seeming almost lighter than they had when Sarah had been… present. </p><p> </p><p>Juno sat on the operating table and put his head in his hands. That was… a lot. Sarah Steel was dead, he knew, she had died in prison and he knew the exact <em> date </em> . And that reaction. Juno hadn’t seen the woman in almost twenty years, she was <em> dead, </em>and she could still draw out his deepest fears. His mind flashed with images of Benzaiten, both vivid and fleeting. </p><p> </p><p>Just a residual effect, he told himself. Temporary.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As he wandered the sewers of Oldtown, Juno could not help but be a little frustrated. He had <em> just </em> come back from being irradiated, shoved into a crime, and losing his eye a <em> second time </em> , and now he was here. Patrolling old haunts, knee-deep in muck he didn’t want to think about (when was the last time it was cleaned? he remembered it being cleaner), alone and tired and <em> definitely not afraid because Juno Steel did not get afraid of a stupid sewer goddamnit— </em></p><p> </p><p>How did he even get here? Holding a baby bunny, running from THEIAs patrolling the tunnels, and, oh yeah, <em> his abuser was following not even two steps behind him. </em>It was a bit too much to deal with all at once, not even considering the fact that there were no other rabbits, no Rita, no answers to his calls… Juno gave a kick to the muck, sending it sloshing forward. Small-Fry hummed worriedly, unaware to the source of his mixed feelings of irritation, fear, and nausea but certainly picking up on them.</p><p> </p><p>“June-bug, come on, talk to me!” Diamond called from behind him, their voice setting his nerves on edge. The nickname conjured old conversations, painful memories, and the ghost of a touch against his skin. Juno wanted <em> out. </em> If Small-Fry noticed his pace quicken, she didn’t acknowledge it, but squeaked when his arms got a little too tight. The lady murmured an apology and loosened his grip, but kept up the quick pace.“That’s no way to treat your fiancé, Juno. You’d make a <em> horrible </em>wife. No wonder I was the only one willing to try.” </p><p> </p><p>Juno winced, but refused to acknowledge <em> whatever </em> it was behind him verbally. The grip he had on Small-Fry was as much a comfort as it was a security measure, and he was loathe to let go. Selfish, selfish, he knew. A reminder wasn’t needed. He knew he was terrible, it was nothing new, ignore it, ignore it, <em> ignore it </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Then again, I guess I did give you what you deserved for it, so saying it is probably redundant. But whatever! It never hurts to be thorough, you know.” Diamond just <em> kept talking </em> . “Because, really, no matter how many times I apologized and made up for it, you never <em> learned </em> , and I would have to do it again and again. And <em> then, </em> June-bug, you <em> left </em>, ungrateful little bastard. All that work I tried to reach you, gone, just because you wouldn’t learn your lesson.” </p><p> </p><p>Struggling not to react, to keep his composure, was wearing him down. His shoulders hunched, and Small-Fry was the only thing keeping him from shaking right out of his skin. <em> Ignore it, Steel, you’re stronger than this </em>. The thought didn’t do much. He still felt nausea and panic swirling in his gut.</p><p> </p><p>The spectre, ghost, illusion, hallucination, <em> whatever </em>they were, cut deep. It was hard to listen to, but he couldn’t exactly shut them up. He couldn’t plug his ears, either — he was holding Small-Fry and he had to listen out for the THEIAs. Besides, the sewers were thinning, now. Diamond had always been taller than him, and maybe the effort of continuing would become too much to talk or even to follow. Juno held on to this thought as he began to have to stoop down to continue.</p><p> </p><p>It was almost a relief when the grown rabbit punched him. Sure, it knocked him into a disgusting wall with the force of a battering ram and probably broke something, but it was a distraction. The rabbit reminded him too much of himself, of his mother, of a broken family’s remnants, and hurting the thing proved an extreme moral struggle, more than it should have been. Even with his blaster snugly in his grip, his hands shook, and part of him could see an alternate Benten in its eyes. Then again, the beat down hurt a lot. Maybe his pain-addled brain misfired. </p><p> </p><p>When the rabbit backed off, Diamond was gone.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“User: Juno Steel. You appear to be damaged. Mend?” The THEIA:SOUL asked him, “your restraints are sturdy. User: Juno Steel, you have a choice. Mend damage, or break free. I am afraid I cannot do much more at the current junction.”</p><p> </p><p>Surveying the room, Juno and his SOUL scoped out the best possible avenues for exit. There was a thick door, no other exits or windows. Conclusion: old interrogation room. There was a shadow in the corner. Conclusion: side effect, do not consider. His hands shook. Conclusion: side effect, do not consider. He was tied to a chair with sturdy rope. Conclusion: they must break to proceed. They could see no weapons or objects in the room. Conclusion: his body must be used as a weapon. </p><p> </p><p>Juno, even in his limited memory, didn’t need much time to think after thoroughly examining the room. “Break us out, THEIA. Any injuries can be fixed after the tower is safe from the Target.” </p><p> </p><p>“Understood.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Juno Steel looked around his office with an air of detachment. His tired eye checked and double-checked everything, making sure he didn’t forget anything important. The desk with the coffee mug stains was cleaned, now, barely a trace of the old wear and tear. The floor was <em> finally </em> free of snack dust, with only a few stains left to even suggest someone had spent time there. His single photo of Mick and Sasha was safely tucked into his bag, but the shards of the frame lay discarded in the wastebin. He tried not to think too hard about Sasha.</p><p> </p><p>His photos of Benzaiten and him were similarly stowed in the bag, where no wayward tears could damage them. Memories lived in that bag. He could not look at them, right now. His hands already shook, his eye felt hot, and his breathing struggled to stay even. It was alright, he told himself, breathe. </p><p> </p><p>He’d already made the call to Buddy, and now it was just a matter of time. Jet had relayed that she had already saved a room for him, and that Jet would be along shortly to pick him up. Really, he should have expected that. Buddy was confident, but she was often correct when it came to her intuition. </p><p> </p><p>Rita puttered about in the room over, grabbing snack after snack in preparation for the departure. Technically it wasn’t even their kitchen, as the office didn’t have much in ways of appliances, but Rita had her way of stashing items where no one would think to look. Thinking of what she’d said, a faint smile ghosted over his face. “You never know, boss. If they don’t have any snacks, how do I <em> survive </em>? How will I live? You don’t want me to die Mistah Steel because you know you’d miss me and you can’t fire me if I’m dead and let’s be real, who could live without li’l ol me?” </p><p> </p><p>His smile faded, though, and with good reason. He wasn’t alone in the office, it wasn’t just him in the central area and Rita in the other room. The other person held themselves in a relaxed position, leaning against the window. The pictures in his bag seemed to weigh heavily on him. Benzaiten’s gaze was heavier. </p><p> </p><p>“So you’re leaving it all behind?” He asked, voice soft.</p><p> </p><p>“... Yeah.” Juno answered, eye downcast.  He rubbed his tattoo of the goddess Benzaiten reflexively. It was done after his brother died, as a memorial to his spirit. The sound of his voice made him rub his hands together, trying to hide the way they shook. Flashes of blood and his brother’s body plagued his vision. “Sorry, Ben.” He didn’t know which part he was apologizing for.</p><p> </p><p>“No biggie. I’d wanna leave too, if I had the option.” Benzaiten decided for him. He was always the sibling better at decisions.</p><p> </p><p>Juno couldn’t do anything but nod to this imitation of his brother, one he wished he could escape. But his mind also felt safe in his brother’s presence, despite the recurring images of his death. His hands continued to wring, even after his brother had gone.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Honestly, Juno didn’t know what the spectres were. He didn’t know if they were ghosts or hallucinations, and he certainly didn’t know if the others could see them. He wouldn’t take that risk. Even as they haunted the halls behind him, made old habits rear their ugly heads, and tormented him whenever they could, Juno simply could not risk losing the ‘Aurinko Crime Family’. Yes, his hands shook whenever one appeared, often ruining his handwriting. Yes, he hunched into himself more than ever, and kept his footsteps quiet. Yes, he felt fear almost like a second skin. But he could not lose them. </p><p> </p><p>Even with the tentative trust in the Carte Blanche crew, he figured they’d shun him if he had a debilitating condition. Vespa had some serious illness or damage going on, he knew, but she was also Buddy’s <em> wife </em>. She had privilege — the rational part of him knew this was a stupid argument but the paranoid part refused to accept it. Jet had a former problem with substances and as such had special needs when it came to anaesthetic, but he was Buddy’s best friend and partner. He didn’t count, either. Nureyev had OCD and Buddy never looked at him different, just as she never looked at Rita different despite her own disorder. His rational mind put these two forth as better examples, but the room began to darken. Juno’s heart sunk.</p><p> </p><p>“Head busy?” Diamond sat next to him on the bed. Juno worried at the weighted blanket he brought from Mars, one of the items that helped him. The weight was comforting, but Diamond’s presence was oppressive. “Yeah, I figured. Too good to talk to your fiancé, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“I have nothing to say to you.” Juno responded flatly, bristling when Diamond went to wrap their arm around him. They did it anyway. They were a dick like that. Even in the dark, he could make out Diamond’s form, the smug smile on their face, the fake concern in their demeanor.</p><p> </p><p>“Of <em> course </em> you do, June-bug. Get over yourself. Don’t you want to talk about how much you bungled your last case? Or how much you want to hurt?”</p><p> </p><p>Rage, white hot. “I don’t want to do that anymore!” Juno snapped, standing up abruptly. His blanket was wrapped around him, still, hanging around his shoulders in an encouraging embrace. “I’m trying to get <em> better! </em> I’m not like that anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>Diamond laughed cruelly. “Oh, sure. If you’re not like <em> that </em> anymore, what are you? Maybe you’re like me instead? Like <em> Sarah </em>?” </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, shut <em> up </em>!” Juno growled, shaking his head violently. “I’m not like you! I’m not!” His eye could not hold in the angry tears any longer, and he let them fall. His hands shook as his knees gave out and he began to cry on the floor, rage and fear and sadness pooling into one intense breakdown. He rocked, the blanket held him, and he wept. </p><p> </p><p>There was no response. Diamond had gone. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i hc juno as autistic which is why he has a weighted blanket and does some of those behaviors in the breakdown so. explanation for thag there you go</p><p>i would love if y’all left a comment even if it’s just keysmash or constructive criticism! </p><p>next chapter will happen... eventually. probably also at 1am. because it’s 1am for me rn</p><p>follow me on tumblr:<br/>writing: zoruakura <br/>normal: angrilytrans</p></blockquote></div></div>
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